If this message reaches You, something You've posted has positively influenced my creative process in one way or another and I want to show my gratitude by personally thanking You. I believe that everything happens for a reason and my coming across Your Tumblr is no exception. Peace. -Dizzle Morrison
Sorry about the delay, I just read this email. I am glad I was able to write/post something inspirational.
….Since I haven’t posted any kind of updates lately, I figured I would log in and shed some light on my current status. I guess its safe to say that I am just “living life right now”….and going where the wind blows me. I guess the bad thing is that the wind has not successfully blown me anywhere as of recent. This move to Raleigh was the perfect opportunity for change and to finish up school but why is that when you’re on the brink of a positive breakthrough you get hit with so many obstacles? I have applied to so many jobs and I find it funny that the headlining positions I was sure I had in the bag…amounted to nothing but wasted calls and follow-ups…guess I can say Never count your chickens before they hatch, right? I don’t understand how employers can say a person needs to have experience, when no one is trying to hire an individual to give them that said experience. I’m currently stuck in a state of limbo where I have an impressive resume, however I am over-qualified for many positions and under-qualified for the others….Really?? I have scrambled to get all my financial aid paper work in, only to find out that I am ineligible for financial aid, when my financial situation has not changed much if any in the past 3-4 years?? It sucks that an individual can live own their on in a city 3 hours away from their parents and still must be considered dependent, and the funny thing is that none of the parental information matters because the individual is self-sufficient. Life is cracking up to be the biggest teacher for me these days and I do feel that nothing worth having comes easy, however on the other hand can I catch a break. For now I will continue to work my way through these issues in pursuit of coming out on top as usual but can I just have something given to me without so much of a fight for once? Until then only time will tell…I guess Heaven only knows. Right?
Lately….to say the least… I’ve been neglecting my place here **shrugs**. BUT…I’m back to drop some thoughts here and give them a place to stay. I have been moving a mile a minute lately….non stop trying to get everything situated for the next chapter in my life. Its funny because they say when one door closes….usually another opens, and I feel that this is the case here. I will be saying hasta to “Home”….but I’m closing this chapter in order to begin a new chapter….one that is going to get me to the place I want to be in life. With every new thing, I feel as humans we are cautious and get nervous….so the feelings I have now are normal. Its a mix of excitement, enthusiasm to work, determination, fear of the unknown, and having to start over. I’m happy for the experiences I have had here, however I will be moving on for new experiences. Growth is always positive, as with new experiences we learn more and more about ourselves and with each interaction we become more and more of the person we are destined to become. As with anything I will approach with goals and expectations of what I have to achieve. Don’t be afraid to jump out of the nest and spread your wings, after all how else will you learn to fly?? IM READY!
Drizzy said it best with these lyrics “Cause you got a past and I do too…we’re perfect for each other”….but can we honestly say that? Can you say that a persons past can be completely erased and that we move on and start new? I feel that to a certain degree, the past is the past, however when your past constantly threatens or causes friction in your future then there’s an issue. We cannot go back and erase or redo the things that we did yesterday, but we can control some of the factors today. I hate the feeling of being victim to my past, for the most part its done and left to dry out, however the resentment I felt for specific things or situations have forever changed my views as a person. I’m not sure if I question too much or if my over caution demeanor is a hindering factor in my love life, but its something I wish I would turn the hell off. So I find myself at this good place now, great, amazing and then comes the feelings of fear. The past has made me so damn cautious and its only because I fear the repeat of a familiar bad situation. I guess this is a daily learning experience that one must go through in life. For now i’ll take it day by day and place a leash around those things from the past…to live for my future, cause in the end…we all want the same thing.
Just wanted to point out a few trends rising for Spring. Looks like colors are becoming “The Thing” once again, as colored pants/khaki’s can be purchased from stores such as: Gap, American Eagle, H&M, and Old Navy to name a few. Couple these babies with a nice pair of causal dock shoes and a white V-neck and call it a day. Speaking of dock shoes, its looking as though they are in for Spring as well. Stores like Aldo, Journey’s, Urban Outfitters, and even American Eagle are selling them in colors ranging from light/dark brown to blue and other colors. So just to call it as I see it now….if you don’t have colored pants/khaki’s or dock shoes….get on your ish, you’ll need them soon.
….Fast forward to now. Its 2/26/12, 12:22 am and im up doing what I do best….thinking. I remember where I was last year at this time as well as a few months ago and my main goal was to have a new start in 2012. I feel that I am getting that new start with a lot of new opportunities and experiences. 2012 has brought new friends and faces. Doors that were cracked in 2011 have been successfully closed and new doors wide open. I feel a since of renewal at this time, just feeling good. I have someone new in my life that is occupying my time and pushing me to continue to chase my dreams and its great to have someone in your corner. I guess you can say I found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new…and the reason is you. Its always hard to open up to people after playing with fire and being burnt too many times in the past but Im making progress. Its a exciting feeling, this thing called “falling” is….and at the same time its scary. I have been down this road before and I know how good it can be, as well as how horrific it can get. For now I will give all that I can, and I will place my trust in you to do the right things and you will recieve them in return.
….its funny how someone can wonder into your life or unexpectedly drop in and manage to shake things up in your world for the better. Its like we’ve played the lottery and both ended in a BIG win….and this kinda win is something that money can’t buy. From our first skype date, meeting and kiss its all been this crazy ride that came out of nowhere and I don’t plan on getting off anytime soon. I remember before meeting you, I was content with the idea of possibly being alone forever, scared, hesitant and trapped by my circumstances. You’ve come in and placed light on the darkness that I called life. That smile that I once had when I was a little boy had been lost for years, however you have managed to help me find that smile again and I thank you for that. You’re on my mind constantly and I’ve opened up to give you a permanent spot there, as long as you take it. Sometime when Im with you, I get lost in your eyes, your smile, lost in you…your aura is amazing and you make me feel something thats familiar yet sooo new. So dont ever leave me, cause I need you inside my world. Through you I feel that I have the strength to do many things. Your simply amazing….continue dreaming with me.
….so maybe its me. Maybe Im in my feelings but Im feeling some kinda way. Its f’d up how the scares of your past make you caution about the future. When I see little hints of the past, it causes me to revert back to that time and I hate those feelings. I know I have grown light years since those days, however hurt is a feeling that I will never forget. Im learning to compromise and to just go with the flow of things, however in this game I am my own worst enemy. For fear of being hurt I lock down…I have been working on expressing my concerns and what not rather than just sitting back and letting issues arise, however sometimes it seems to blow up in my damn face. In this one I dont know how to approach and issue because my approach seems to be soo damn wrong. Can I get some help? Is it me tho??
7:27….sitting here with things on my mind. Just contemplating some of the things going on currently in “my world”. Funny how with every thought a image of your smile pops in my head. I feel like I’ve been going so hard in everything for the past months that its time for me to share myself with another person…you’re the reason its happened and I don’t want things to change. From the jump there has been that instant “spark” that electricity that keeps me coming back for more…..and I realize its you. Its always possible to lose yourself in the efforts of your cause, in your work and to crash and burn but I feel like since meeting you….I can keep running for a little while longer. Its your smile that makes me feel like a kid in a candy store….I’m not just satisfied with one thing and then I begin to want it all. Its something about you thats soo familiar but at the same time soo new and fresh and I’m enjoying every damn second of it. I wish I could rip out a hole in time and place us there so that we never have to lose these feelings….its nostalgic. Your Simply Amazing…Ye said it best "Stick around, real feelings might surface”
….So yeah the heading speaks volumes…there is not need to assume what this post is about, because its pretty self explanatory. I have found myself in a current funk while completing college entrance applications and you would think this process would have gotten a lot easier at this point, but I guess somethings don’t change. Funny how 250-500 words could make a difference between an entrance or denial letter being sent to your home address. Its funny how much weight these things play in lives and how much these writings impact our futures. I find it hilarious that its expected for us to define who we are within a 500 word limit and successfully get your ideas and points across. Crazy huh? Homework is not the issues, nor is school…maybe I could just be letting the hype get to me?? Possibly?? I guess Ill let this hype die down within myself because there is so much riding off of the 250-500 words I decide to put down on the page of my yet to be completed entrance essay. Until then…
“How do you make a partnership work? Communication is the key that will open the door to success. Work with one another, not against. Only then will a partnership reach its full potential. Remember, to get to your dream you’ve got to work as a team. God is love.”—Rev run
I wanted to post my feelings today regarding our human ability/inability to be completely happy with or by ourselves. I found myself dwelling on this thought and wondering if I was completely able to say that I would happy by myself or If I needed someone else in my life to make me feel complete. The answer that I was able to come up with was…..yes I do feel that as humans we are completely capable of being happy by ourselves to a certain degree. I say this because yes it is a great feeling to have your freedom, your independence and to be able to answer to yourself and yourself only….but on another note….everyone whether they want to admit it or not wants someone to call their own. Lately I have been feeling that in order to be happy as well, we have to first be happy with ourselves and develop the ideal of being able to be happy alone and at that point we can truly appreciate another persons company. I feel that I am evoking my own renewed sense of self at this point. I challenge myself to learn to be completely happy alone at all times and to learn to enjoy my own company. Not sure how you guys feel about this but feel free to weigh in your comments on this one….I live this open but my opinion has been stated.
New Year's Resolution? A New Me?? Nah...I call it Growth !
So this marks my first post of this new year ….2012. I had to take some time off from writing to focus in on some personal “things” during the closing of 2011. I wanted to come back to tumblr…ready, refreshed and full of new comments on some new things. I found it funny reading Facebook and scrolling through Twitter and seeing peoples pointless resolutions or their declarations of being a “New Me” for 2012. At this point Im feeling that resolutions are pointless, there little promises that people try to convince themselves to follow, only for self satisfaction. I guess that self satisfaction comes after they have fulfilled a week or two of this said resolution, because “they” never a long lived. I looked at my life and I thought about the things that I had accomplished during 2011 and summed that it was a hard year over all for me but I wouldnt say that I wanted a “New Me” for 2012. I feel that we can never become a new person, however we as humans are constantly growing and evolving. I feel that the more pots you have your hand in, the more likely you are to pull out a stellar prize. For this year I wish to continue with the goals I have have always strived to work on throughout my life. I have established some new interests and I plan on pursuing and I have made new friendships that I wish to explore. 2012 is looking to be a GREAT year as far as bringing in something Fresh in my life…and I can only say that I wish the same for everyone. Remember is its all about growth…and ummm Life is what you make it. To whom much is given, much is tested. Ye said that.